Defending My “Not Tired” Piece
XoJane.com published a blog post I wrote entitled “Not Tired” and day-um people wrote some intense comments. I got called “lazy”, “condescending,” “self-righteous,” and “defensive”. HEY INTERNET, DON’T HOLD BACK OR ANYTHING. Also, one commenter noted that my frequent use of all caps and parenthesis is a textbook sign of poor writing. OK, SHE HAS A POINT. (But talk about condescending…). And then the comment-ers debated amongst each other about the seriousness of gluten allergies and Game of Thrones. I did learn one thing: DO NOT READ COMMENTS.
I want to defend my stance in Not Tired, but the fact that I feel shamed for writing it illustrates the problem perfectly. However, I have deep-seated desire to be liked, understood and accepted…on the Internet. I know. Not gonna happen.
Yes, I am well-rested…NOW. But this has not always been the case. I spent most of my life feeling VERY TIRED. In high school, I woke up at 5:45 AM, went to school and ran 6 miles (even in the rain), attended my roster of AP classes (in which I often stared into space) and the afternoon worked as editor of the yearbook, or met with student council or studied. I often got home at 5 or 6 and fell asleep on my Calculus homework. I also took care of my toddler-half-sister and maybe once in a while hung out socially. I loved school. Without school, I might have run away from home. I commuted between my parents’ homes and it never occurred to me I could change this schedule. So at 18, when I graduated from high school, I felt pretty tired. Working that hard got me into an Ivy League school where the pressure to work felt even greater. I often wondered if I had gone to a UC school I might have some time and space to figure out who I was. But such is the folly of youth.
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And asking yourself that question is a huge pain in the ass responsibility because it’s terrifying.
Are we good? Ok, I’m done.