Just for today I can take small steps to make my living space beautiful. Today when my friend James called me I was proud to say that I was painting my bathroom instead of being at the beach. When he asked me if I was in a well-ventilated room, I told him that I was in my bathroom, a small enclosed space with no cross breeze, sweating bullets and feeling very nauseated. He suggested I take a break and go outside for a bit. Luckily, I did go outside and avoided passing out in the bathroom. Today, I learned that it's OK to take ones time while painting to avoid being poisoned by paint fumes. Just for today, I can work on my apartment and not get sick.

My married couple childhood friends recently bought a beautiful house in which to begin their fabulous, deliriously happy new life together and they invited me over. It was good to see them and a nice opportunity to continue my research project on how happy people co-habit. To me, of course, their life looks like perfection incarnate. A loving relationship, a beautiful house (hardwood floors, craftsman, deck, AND an artist studio), good relations with the extended family, strong career prospects, etc. But upon taking a tour, we found a scratch in their new armoire!!!! This confirmed my theory that even the most blessed, lucky, people who are actively creating joy and meaning in their lives....can still get bummed out about getting their "stuff" scratched. My suspicions that expensive, nice stuff will eventually get scratched, damaged, and/or (unless it ends up in a museum) fall apart, seem to be true. The two dings in my car were actually inevitable (considering the amount of time my car spends in lots next to large SUVs owned by people in a hurry who can't be bothered to slowly open their doors...though sometimes I do that to.)

If this is the case, why then do I obsess so much about buying nice stuff...? When I die, will I regret not having bought more crap? Perhaps, but I doubt it.

Just for today, I can let go of the scratches and degeneration of my material possessions.

I spent my weekend obsessing over chairs. For various reasons, I have spent the last 6 months living without chairs. And during this time (heretofore to be known as the Age of the Chairlessness) I have come to realize and appreciate how important chairs are to my sense of human connection and the possibility of community. Now, mind you, I have a couch. So, it's not like there's nowhere for my guests sit (I also have a lovely floor...more on that later). However, there is something about chairs that ask for less commitment than a couch, that make people feel independent. Couches ask for serious intimacy. They are saying, "Come and merge with my vibe." However, with chairs people need not be afraid of getting towed into someone else's space or pheromone range. Chairs are like, "Yeah, I'm here talking to you and connecting, but I'm not finding out what you had for lunch or anything. This is fun but I might jump up at any moment and get some juice or show you my latest Yoga position."

The other drawback of my couch is that I have these beaded pillows that frequently stab my guests with their stray wires and that everyone who sits on my couch, without exception, wants to destroy (but I THINK THEY MAKE MY COUCH LOOK NICE!).

Lastly, let us not forget the important role chairs play in the functionality of dining tables. I've been eating Japanese style for about two years and while I'd like to believe it's because of my open attitude to various cultural traditions, the truth is...I WAS JUST TOO DAMN CHEAP to spend $150 on cheap dining room furniture. Which gets us to some important lessons that I would like to share in this blog. And that is this:

Lesson #1: If you buy a table from Pier 1, you damn well better buy the chairs that match (even if they each cost more than the table). Because if you don't, your dining set won't look arty and original, it'll just look weird.

Lesson #2: Chairs are an important item in community life.

Just for today, I can appreciate the importance of chairs and the intelligence of corporate entities.

My aunt told me that if I really want a relationship I have to "make space" in my life by literally making space in my closet and making sure that my bed is approachable from both sides. This is simply not going to happen in my studio (apparently, living in a studio is utterly non-conducive to attracting a relationship) unless I make my bed the centerpiece of the room. I tried it for a few days hoping it would grow on me, but all it did was create a smaller pathway to the kitchen and make the room look scrunched together.

So, I pushed the beds back and settled on buying a shoe organizer. For now, I can rest assured that whoever comes into my life will have some place to put his shoes...

Just for today, I can feng shui my life.

I had a dream the other night that my building manager gave my apartment key to strangers who, believing themselves to be the new tenants, came in and redecorated it in their own style and taste. I came home to a fantastically redecorated New York style apartment that was about five times the size of my studio (this is dreamland). Despite the fact that it looked infinitely nicer, classier, and more Pottery-Barnesque...I was really pissed. Although I yelled at these people to move all their stuff out and change it to the way it was, I secretly liked what they had done...

...maybe I'm ready for some new diggs.

Just for today, I can analyze my dreams.