Let's just say that some frozen food has a life span. I think someone once described it as food that "snaps back at you."

Just for today, I can listen to my digestive system.

I may as well eat red plastic, but nonetheless, just for today, the sight of that bright neon red tub sitting in the office kitchen is a temptation beyond my control.

...in my digestive system. It's time for boundaries against the red bane of my afternoons. I must have boundaries. I must say no.

Just for today, I can let go.

Have you met anyone who listens to this music? Chances are he or she is a pretty upbeat person (I've seen it). So, what if it's kind of the emotional equivalent of sprinkling Splenda all over your life, it's still better red vines.

Just for today, I can contemplate alternatives to my red vine addiction.

Have you met anyone who listens to this music? Chances are he or she is a pretty upbeat person (I've seen it). So, what if it's kind of the emotional equivalent of sprinkling Splenda all over your life, it's still better red vines.

Just for today, I can contemplate alternatives to my red vine addiction.

FYI: Squash is very digestable when sauteed (can someone please tell me how to insert accents?) with a Trader Joe's stir fry.

Just for today, I can eat healthy food.

I'm so over my pious food phase. My whole, "sugar is the work of the devil" attitude that really was just a transference of my horror-filled Catholic upbringing onto food (I still wonder if the earth will crack open and somebody will fall into a fiery death...which could also be attributed to the movie "Earthquake"). Today, I decided to celebrate my new found acceptance of all of God's edible creations by eating a cup of "Chocolate Therapy" at Ben & Jerry's (because I need therapy in every area of my life). It helped that I was with my pregnant friend who is hungry every five minutes. It was kind of weird because I have been scorning that place for the past few years, as if it were the corner crack-house. Or, as if I were a nun passing a brothel. In short, I felt like a bad girl...

Needless to say, the chocolate therapy worked. I'm sure it'll do a number on my thighs, but I'll live with it.

Just for today, I can eat ice cream.

As many know (at least those that I work with), I sit next to the snack table and am notorious for co-opting the wanna-be health food that's really the Trader Joe's equivalent of Cheetos, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Like any addict, I justify my behavior with frank over-exaggerations on the difficulty of My Life, as in "It's been a rough week...I deserve a handful of chocolate covered almonds...who cares if they put me in a coma..." Anyway, when the flab reared it's ugly head I realized that no amount of salsa (well, maybe if I danced 24-7) will keep me away from the fat cells that were built into my DNA. So, I'm turning over a new leaf...again (...I'm going to need to find a new tree soon) and, henceforth, I am going to say no to the chocolate covered espresso beans and yes to self-esteem building behaviors. I'm going to give more money to worthy causes, clean my apartment less, and have stronger boundaries with people who don't take no for an answer (Relentless Salsero).

Just for today, I can turn over a new leaf.

...it's just one big serving of an afternoon coma (with no cheese or fries).

Through the haze of my Fat Burger Coma (followed by three chocolate Macadamian nuts...not a recommended diet for high productivity), I heard the words "It won't be the first time I was right and everyone else was wrong." Spoken like a true Evil Flash Programmer. Apparently, everything works in his world and we're all crazy.

I spent last night on a date with my 77-year-old high school Spanish teacher who kicked me out of his class in the second week of 9th grade. I cried. Now he's my friend, thus, giving the practice of tough love big points in my book. I'll have to remember that next time a boyfriend decides to throw a tantrum in my apartment.

Just for today, I can eat coma-inducing foods.

Koo Koo Roo gave me a small chicken breast and about four pieces of roasted potatoes. I almost complained, but then I just walked away like Oliver, or a child in a third-world country receiving nourishment from the first world (can I get anymore dramatic?). So much for over-sized American portions...guess that's one way to cut costs.

Just for today, I can be grateful for my $6.50 lunch.

As an over-worked, over-consuming shell of a human being, I no longer have creative thoughts, just sound bites connected to compulsive cravings. Usually, it's "chocolate," at which point I harangue (word choice?) Food Guy for anything with a chocolate-like flavor (fudge-cicle?). Sometimes, it's "iced espresso" or "cute salsa skirt," Today, it was "pinkberry," which is weird because frozen yogurt usually holds all of the appeal of a corn dog that's been in the freezer since time began. But I'm past the point of questioning my cravings, if it's chocolate covered avocado and bacon sandwich, then so be it. (God, help me if I'm ever pregnant. So, I drove my ass to the strip mall on the corner where am empty pinkberry store waited for me in all it's Korean-decor glory and ordered the plain with chocolate chips and promptly inhaled it.

Just for today, I can satisfy my cravings.

Last Sunday, I bought some beautiful, lettuce-y, organic, lettuce from the Farmer's Market. This chunk of lettuce (I don't know what you call it) just called my name. Sometimes I drool over lettuce, I must be missing some lettuce minerals.

Anyhoo, last night I made a salad with lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, feta cheese, capers, and a lemon/vinegar/wine dressing. It was worthy of a photo shoot. So, I sat down feeling very superior in my food-yness, when I saw that my lettuce was moving. But it wasn't my lettuce, it was a caterpillar the same color as my lettuce. (Please note: I did wash it). A few minutes later, I saw another piece of moving lettuce.

Needless to say, no more organic Farmer's Market for me....(I won't even get into the spider in the kael incident).

Just for today, I can try to eat healthy.

I came home last night from a very social evening to look in the mirror and find a sesame seed stuck between my teeth. I had eaten some wanna-be-sushi item from TJ's about four hours earlier and that thing must have remained lodged in place ever since. Have I no friends?! Has nobody the decency to take me aside for an awkward moment, to save me from three hours of Food In Teeth Embarrassment?!

I immediately messaged one friend from the evening and asked him to please feel free, in the future, to point out such things. Then I felt awkward for sending it. After all, whose responsibility are my food particles? He wrote back that he hadn't noticed, and, had he, he would have certainly told me.

I don't know if I believe him.

Just for today, I have issues with trust.