tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1 2008-07-24T01:15:57Z Movable Type 3.34 tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1068 2008-07-23T06:28:04Z 2008-07-24T01:15:57Z

I've been putting so much pressure on myself to finish this book proposal before I'm destitute and homeless, that my blog has kind of suffered. Not that it shines under normal conditions, but at least it's spell-checked. When I told...

I've been putting so much pressure on myself to finish this book proposal before I'm destitute and homeless, that my blog has kind of suffered. Not that it shines under normal conditions, but at least it's spell-checked. When I told my friend that I was "going for broke" with my writing, I didn't realize how literally I was speaking. Why does life cost so much money? I can't even drive by a Target without dropping $50. I'm starting to understand why writer's become alcoholics. Actually, I understand why any living person becomes an alcoholic, but writer's more so. There's only so much time anyone can spend examining their thoughts and words before some kind of internal combustion process starts to take place. Writing is definitely a neurotic activity and not something anyone should undertake without the distant hope of financial reward. At least math problems have one answer. Just for today, I can examine my imploding brain. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1067 2008-07-21T06:59:19Z 2008-07-22T03:24:50Z

I spent a beautiful afternoon and evening dancing on the promenade in Santa Monica and practicing my Lady Styling moves as seen on multiple YouTube videos. My friend deemed us YouTube Salseras. Whenever I think I'm hitting Salsa Burn Out...

I spent a beautiful afternoon and evening dancing on the promenade in Santa Monica and practicing my Lady Styling moves as seen on multiple YouTube videos. My friend deemed us YouTube Salseras. Whenever I think I'm hitting Salsa Burn Out (no more salsa), or a Salsera Slump (can't think of anything to do for my Ladies Styling), or Salsa Purgatory (the same shit over and over again), I always go out and re-experience how much fun it can be to spend hours dancing around friends. Salseros are pretty cheap-o people (no offense), but still, it's very inexpensive fun. Especially, when I think about how much money it costs to go out and get drunk. Salsa is free, fun, a work-out, and you don't get a hang-over (just get tired). Just for today, I can enjoy my vida salsera. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1065 2008-07-17T07:48:56Z 2008-07-17T23:19:55Z

My mom tried to pawn one of my sister's cats off on me with the not-very-convincing argument, "she's going to die soon, anyway." Well, that's comforting. I get attached to another form of life that leaves me so that my...

My mom tried to pawn one of my sister's cats off on me with the not-very-convincing argument, "she's going to die soon, anyway." Well, that's comforting. I get attached to another form of life that leaves me so that my abandonment issues can be triggered and I can learn more lessons about the impermanence of life...no thank you. I'll stick to white wine and salsa dancing (though, not together). It was almost working, though, and I was inches away from becoming a Creepy Cat Lady when my allergies kicked in. I think they're actually functioning on behalf of my ovaries as part of some biological alarm clock crying out, "Don't get the cat if you ever want a consistent sex life!" Notice the choice of the word "consistent?" Actually, it really just takes one time. The point is, whether or not anyone will come out and say it, cats are the ultimate form birth control for single white ladies. Just for today, I can consider cat adoption. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1064 2008-07-15T04:41:52Z 2008-07-16T04:12:33Z

I'm home visiting my family and friends, and just had dinner with Old Friend From College, High School, Junior High, etc. I told her about my college journals which offer an excruciatingly detailed account of each and every place we...

I'm home visiting my family and friends, and just had dinner with Old Friend From College, High School, Junior High, etc. I told her about my college journals which offer an excruciatingly detailed account of each and every place we drank watered down beer, smoked pot, and what clean-cut Ivy League male victims were present. She says that her mother tells people that she majored in College. I minored in Boys. As it turns out, there's more to a college education than being drunk and obsessing over a guy, and I now wish I'd shown up for more than my Shakespeare and Playwriting classes (although, those classes rocked). It's not that I regret doing keg stands with her (although, it probably wasn't a good idea to let the crew guys kick in the ceiling), but I could probably stand to know a little bit about Chinese culture, Middle Eastern history and economics at this particular juncture in time. However, life goes on and, and it seems that everyone is in agreement that college was a lot easier than Real Life. Whenever my friends talk about marriage, my Inner-14-year-old comes out and says things like, "That sound, like, hard." Lately, I've been feeling glad that I don't have any of The Stuff (house in a mortgage crisis, husband obsessed with porn, and a home theater to watch Netflix and escape the world). It's not that I think I'm winning the game of Life, I just decided to throw it out long ago, along with my Ouija board (I'm just kidding, I would never throw away an Ouija board...however, I do think an entity might have carried it off). Old College Friend and I made a pact to go to our fifteen year reunion. Just for today, I can connect with old friends. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1063 2008-07-12T21:34:29Z 2008-07-13T21:18:55Z

The downside of being a Sweat Drenched Salsa Slime Beast is: 1) Must do a LOT of laundry 2) Can only dance with other Slime Beasts because like water, SDSSB's seek their own level. 3) Can only attract men who...

The downside of being a Sweat Drenched Salsa Slime Beast is: 1) Must do a LOT of laundry 2) Can only dance with other Slime Beasts because like water, SDSSB's seek their own level. 3) Can only attract men who find the the SDSSB look sexy or "beautiful." 4) Constantly thirsty [though, I started bringing the magical (i.e. alkaline) water with me to the clubs and it seems to keep me more hydrated]. The upside of being a SDSSB is: 1) Detox like a mofo 2) Skin looks great 3) Sweat works like really great hair gel if you don't wash your hair the next day 4) Good way to gross out unsavory characters (unless they like SDSSB look) Just for today, I can look at the positive side of being a slime beast. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1062 2008-07-09T21:48:47Z 2008-07-10T22:45:23Z

I don't know how much more can be said about my ability to sweat, but I'm starting to think I should bring a change of clothes to the club. Last week, my friend Ivy League Salsera and I went to...

I don't know how much more can be said about my ability to sweat, but I'm starting to think I should bring a change of clothes to the club. Last week, my friend Ivy League Salsera and I went to the AM/PM after dancing to get some electrolytes. Anyway, I had, as usual, drenched my clothes and when I pulled my money out of my bra, where it's (usually) safe, it was soaking wet. The cashier was talking to three black guys about Kobe Bryant like he was a close personal friend, and didn't notice when I took my money out of my bra. However, when I handed the money to him, he knew it was wet. "You bin in da poo'!" said the cashier. I nodded and smiled as if, yes, indeed I had just fully clothed jumped into a swimming pool at 1:00 am. Just for today, I can be a Sweaty Salsera. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1061 2008-07-08T21:51:38Z 2008-07-09T03:00:33Z

"I love the sweat, it's so beautiful," said this guy I was dancing with last night. The interesting thing is that I wasn't really sweating that much, at least for me. I don't know if he's seen me in rare...

"I love the sweat, it's so beautiful," said this guy I was dancing with last night. The interesting thing is that I wasn't really sweating that much, at least for me. I don't know if he's seen me in rare form, but it's not a pretty site. On a hot night, I look like I just jumped in and out of the ocean, only fully clothed. It's hard to believe that my body can contain that much liquid. One time I weighed myself before and after salsa dancing and it was a 2 lb. difference. Sometimes, it gets to the point of ridiculous and I have to stop dancing before I turn into a walking sketch show of someone with a serious glandular disorder. Just for today, I can be a Sweaty Salsera. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1060 2008-07-05T21:18:06Z 2008-07-05T22:10:09Z

I hope everyone enjoyed Yet Another Excuse To Get Drunk Day. I'm sure puking by the beach is what our forefather's had in mind when they established this holiday. Cynical? A little. That's what ten years of 4th of July's...

I hope everyone enjoyed Yet Another Excuse To Get Drunk Day. I'm sure puking by the beach is what our forefather's had in mind when they established this holiday. Cynical? A little. That's what ten years of 4th of July's on the beach will do to a person (though, I suppose, a small price to pay for the year-round benefits). 4th of July makes me wish I had a big boyfriend who, while kind to me and those he cares about, has no problem punching drunk lewd men who swarm the beach areas on national holidays. I'm seriously considering taking up boxing. I'm not tall or big, but, really, how much force do you need to take down a drunk guy? All you have to do is get him off his balance, and let his defunct motor skills do the rest. I'm starting to understand how skinny little guys feel. Just for today, I can ponder tempered violence. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1059 2008-07-04T01:19:05Z 2008-07-05T22:17:15Z

I just watched "Californication" and now David Duchovney is my new boyfriend. Before that it was James McAvoy in "Atonement" and before that it was Matt Damon in the "Bourne Identity" series, and before that it was Leonardo DiCaprio in...

I just watched "Californication" and now David Duchovney is my new boyfriend. Before that it was James McAvoy in "Atonement" and before that it was Matt Damon in the "Bourne Identity" series, and before that it was Leonardo DiCaprio in "Blood Diamond," and maybe before that (it all blurs together from here on out) it was Kevin Connolly from "Enterouge," and before that it was Russell Crow in "Proof of Life," and before that it was Gael Garcia Bernal in "Y Tu Mama Tambien," and before that it was Mark Wahlberg in anything, and before that it was Brad Pitt in "Thelma and Louise," (and, though, I hate to admit it), a little in "Legends of the Fall," and before that - at some point in time - it was Tom Hanks in "Bosom Buddies" and before that it was Ralph Machio in "Karate Kid" and before that Jason Bateman in "It's Your Move." Just for today, I can reflect on my pathetic personal life. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1058 2008-07-01T22:34:08Z 2008-07-02T04:08:11Z

Today, Evil Flash Programmer took me out to lunch and gave the download on married life. Apparently, after only a few months of marriage, EFP's Brazilian Bride proved unfaithful. Fucking bitch. Not that I said anything to that effect to...

that problem now. Just for today, I can have lunch with Evil Flash Programmer.]]> tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1057 2008-06-30T00:57:42Z 2008-06-30T19:21:43Z

Last night, I went to a fabulous graduation party for Persian Surgeon Salsero. Now that he's completed his 100 years of medical school training, he is now officially employed as a Surgeon Salsero who plays salsa music while he performs...

Last night, I went to a fabulous graduation party for Persian Surgeon Salsero. Now that he's completed his 100 years of medical school training, he is now officially employed as a Surgeon Salsero who plays salsa music while he performs liver transplants on children at any given hour of day or night (talk about responsibility...and I worry about making it to the coffee shop before noon). I had thought I might meet some nice cute surgeons, but never got around to it because I ended up dancing to Persian techno till 3 am. I'm sure there's much more to Perisan dancing, but I did the best anyone can do with a drink in one hand. Add to the other hand a plate of food, and it's a whole other type of dancing. Not good for the digestion, but I did get plenty of protein (loved the food!). The point is, if I can't tear me away from a mojito, beef shishkabob, and the techno version of Thriller to make an effort NOW, when will I? Although, let's face, I'll never be one to walk away from a techno version of Thriller. Maybe most surgeons know not to dance and eat? The 26-year-old guy I was dancing asked me how old I was and when I said 36, he told me that I seemed like his age. "That's because I'm very immature." At least it's a lot cheaper than Botox. Just for today, I can have fun at 36. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1056 2008-06-26T21:18:58Z 2008-06-27T23:19:34Z

There's nothing like pulling out a journal from high school to remind me that youth is wasted on the young. Tonight, I read, for the first time in years, the journal I kept between graduation from high school and the...

I decided to go with J. to the prom. Aside the fact that he's not the most popular guy in the world, I see no reason not to go with him. And according to what I just said, that shouldn't matter. But if he tries anything with me, I'll kill him. Damn. Didn't realize what a stuck-up bitch was. Here's another part where I actually respect myself. Today I got infuriated with A. and with being a girl. It had to do with an argument I had with him and 3 other boys in physics when he told me that girls are genetically inferior to boys in math/science. So today, he and B. were rambling off about their esoteric bullshit when I started wondering why I can't get into a frenzy over Physics like they can. Then it hit me that if I asked Mr. S. a question like what happens to time in the black hole or something like that, he would probably make into a joke or cute comment. It made me so furious and convinced me that girls are negatively reinforced in math and the sciences...being feminine is by all means a LEARNED thing. Damn, again! You go girl! I was 18 and for most of the summer I worked at a restaurant where I lusted after most of the male waiters in their twenties. I have a serious high school crush on S. It drives me crazy because I can't talk to him anymore, and I have an orgasm every time he touches me. I immediately start to imagine what it would be like to have him on top of me...he is very affectionate with everyone so it's really no big deal for him to grab my shoulders and start massaging me or something, but it drives me crazy. Especially, because he's so nonchalant about it... I have a name for guys like that now. And it's not "creep," but he was probably that, too. Anyway, it gets more embarrassing, but mostly it's just very telling and boring. Mostly, I can see how woefully unprepared I was for adulthood. Just for today, I can read my journals from high school and college. ]]> tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1055 2008-06-24T20:32:18Z 2008-06-25T23:49:16Z

Somebody removed my coffee card with all my stamps on it. There's a file next to the register where customers like me get their coffee card marked until that glorious day when I have enough stamps to get $5 mocha...

Somebody removed my coffee card with all my stamps on it. There's a file next to the register where customers like me get their coffee card marked until that glorious day when I have enough stamps to get $5 mocha concoction that usually makes me feel ill, but who cares because it was FREE! Anyway, my coffee card was stolen, probably by a local Coffee Shop Weirdo who scratched out my name. Lately, Strange Old French Man has been offering me lots of encouragement as he keeps complimenting me on my dedication and work ethic. "Something good will come out of this," he said to me yesterday. Thank you, Strange Old French Man! Occasionally, Cute Guys wander in here. My friend told me to smile at them. Sometimes they smile back. Then what? Look busy and pretend it never happened has been my choice, but something tells me that's not going to get me too far. Just for today, I can have adventures in Coffee Shop Land. tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1054 2008-06-22T21:16:09Z 2008-06-23T21:10:03Z

One year, 11 months and five days ago I wrote 10 Things To Do To Keep From Thinking How Damn Hot It Is. Two globally warmed years later, I'm too hot to think of any more... All I came up...

10 Things To Do To Keep From Thinking How Damn Hot It Is. Two globally warmed years later, I'm too hot to think of any more... All I came up with was...make jello. Just for today, I'm too hot to be funny.]]> tag:www.searchforsanity.com,2008://1.1052 2008-06-20T21:50:23Z 2008-06-22T19:25:28Z

I went swimming yesterday and realized, yet again, that there's no place like the women's locker room for discovering the latest fashions in the hoo ha hair-style department. I'm always surprised at how many women go Brazilian. Being the cry...

really good reason to wax my nether regions. Just for today, I can make decisions about my hoo ha.]]>