I'm sort of having the opposite of writer's block. I don't know how to describe it. Writer's Diarrhea?...Breaking the Writer's Levees? They all sound bad. Writer's Unblock? Anyway, whatever it is I'm not messing with it. This stuff is sacred. If I could bottle it, I would be richer than Steve Jobs. However, clearly, the deluge is not pouring into my blog. My poor blog is the devoted wife who isn't getting any cuz daddy's busy with other thangs. Sorry, Blog!

Seriously, though, I have been trying to unclog the arteries for a long time now. Like any writer will tell you, you can't make The Muse appear by sheer will. For the sake of my own future, I'm going to list the things that I believe cure writer's block. This is for creative writing, but I think it works for any block around any creative work.

1) Someone once told me that if you want to get to the next place in your life embody you're worst fear about what other people think about you. "What if people think I'm a self-involved bitch?" And? "Am I a lazy, self-indulgent spoiled excuse for a grown up?" Yes, you are. So, go eat some chocolate Haagen-Dasz, fill out your unemployment check and sit down at the computer. You'll see the magic flow.

2) Slow down. There's nothing worse for writing than panic, traffic, caffeine induced stress. That was once my life. It produced a good income, lots of grey hairs, and a few blogs that almost got me fired.

3) Know that what you have to say is not of any real importance to the world. But neither is what anyone else has to say.

4) Remember that you're going to die. Sorry. I didn't invent death, but it is the ultimate deadline.

5) Eat avocados. Healthy fat.

Just for today, I have Writer's Diarrhea.