So, I dragged my ass to Rudy's yoga class tonight. I figured if I can't be gainfully employed, then I may as well work on an having a butt that you could bounce a quarter off of (that was Rudy's expression).

Who the hell is this Rudy guy? Only, the most ass-kicking, wise-cracking yoga teacher who will actually make me think that my donation is worth the money. Tonight's theme was "Chairway to Heaven." In fact, he is so funny and ass kicking that I don't mind it when he mounts the young nubile women in an effort to "deepen the pose" (oh, I know, but I'm not going there). Did I mention what pervs yoga teacher are?

I don't know why I stopped going to yoga. I thought it was boring. But you know what's really boring? Back fat. Love handles. Beer gut.

Anyway, if I had any illusion that salsa and leisurely bike rides could keep me in shape, I was sorely disillusioned. After the first fifteen minutes I barely glistened. Shoot, I'm a rock, I thought. Haha...a few hours later my head proceeded to become a water faucet. It was better than a facial.

Just for today, I can get my ass in shape (literally).