I signed up for Match.com a few months ago as a testament to the universe that I'm willing to judge strange men's dating profiles within the safe confines of my apartment...oh wait, I meant be open to the possibility of a relationship (whoops).

However, after a few weeks I had to turn my profile off because if I got anymore messages from 53-year-old Looking4U2010 from Orange (where is that? so many cities I've never heard of), I was ready to sue Match.com for plotting to put me into such a dark state that I fly to Vegas with the next guy that winks at me.

I changed my picture, made my profile less angry-bitter-woman-like (whoops again) and, lately, things seem to have gotten better. And by better, I don't mean to suggest that I've gone on dates or even talked to these guys on the phone. I mean, I don't sign on to Match.com and consider switching teams (do women ever really switch teams? I think that's a dude thing...) or a life of celibacy. As of late, I've gotten some interest from age-appropriate, location-appropriate, and sort of humanly appropriate guys. A few profess that they "don't want drama" (i.e. they LOVE the drama), or any Hoochie girls (who doesn't love the hoochie girls?). The hardest type of guy to meet in LA, I have found, is someone my own age. The young guys seem to see me as the older, experienced woman they can show affection towards because God knows it won't last, and the fifty-year-olds see my age group as their birthright, but I'm too old to find older guys interesting. But the guys my age avoid me like the plague. I don't blame them, as I don't want to be with anyone who see's right through my credentials into the Cindy Lauper-worshipping, Wet n' Wild lipstick-wearing (and shoplifting) 13-year-old who came out of Purple Rain spiritually transformed, and, thus, whom I could never really have power over.

Boy, this blog got off track....

Just for today, I can consider dating online.