OMG...WTF...(Insert Exclamatory Anagram)....I'm spending too much time unemployed.

I'm becoming (or am) weird. It takes me two hours to get out of my house in the morning, (as I obsess about what to wear to the Coffee Shop) and ponder the a/c, music, degree of work ethic among the clientele, and quality of coffee at various coffee shops around West LA.

I prefer Peete's for the quality and taste of the coffee but for mysterious reasons, Peete's Coffee establishments seem to have universally become pick-up scenes for the over 40 crowd. On more than one occasion, a strange older men has stuck his face straight in front of my computer and asked, "Procrastinating on Facebook?" or "Are you writing a book?" Old man, it's none of your business. Go back to your novel about time travel in the 1960's, and let me finish my brilliant Facebook status about the taco I'm planning to have for lunch.

Starbuck's has the energy of a hospital waiting area, Tanner's has weak coffee, (though, you could mistake it for the library at UCLA for all of the focused concentration), and the Cow's End is simply too close to where I live (I need to feel like I'm going somewhere).

I can't sit anywhere where I'm too comfortable, or the the music is bad, or the guy next to me feels like he might spontaneously combust from the intensity of his spec 24 script Even though I have a Blackberry (which is very important when you have no job and nowhere you have to be), I insist on having Internet access because if I can't look up Drew Barrymore's age when she filmed "ET" on IMDB there's no way in hell I'm going to finish that paragraph.

I have all the time in the world and, yet, refuse to read the manual to figure out how my phone works. The other day I was talking to my mother, and for some reason she kept talking, even while I was talking. I just kept talking over her, assuming that old age was setting in, or she had just gone totally crazy. It took me a while to realize I had hit the mute button.

Please, God, keep me employable.

Just for today, I can try to stay sane in my unemployment.