As of late (the past ten years), I have found small talk excruciatingly tiring. The older I and the people I'm talking to get, the smaller the talk. In junior high, it was fully acceptable to have an emotional break-down in response to the question, "How are you?" We were so young and naiive, we didn't know that you aren't supposed to answer that question honestly. Even in my twenties I might stumble into a deeper conversation with total strangers at a party about the search for a career, or relationship. However, these days, the more settled people are, the less they really feel like examining their choices outside of a shrink's office. So, what are safe topics? Food. Apartment rents (but stay away from the housing markets). And, food.

Yesterday, I went to a two social gatherings (shower, bbq) and found by the second one I had fully maxed out my ability to be charming and engaging (at least in my head). I was done and dinner wasn't even ready, yet. I was like a computer whose battery ran out. I could only sit near the kiddie pool and eat chips, and wonder how we get to a place in our lives where we can talk about cheese and wine for two hours.

Just for today, I can practice being social.