Today, I watched HBO's lauded, addictive, "True Blood," yet, another show about vampires. What is the metaphor? Vampires = Over-sexed people? Middle Easterners? Corporate America? Republicans? Carnivores? Oil dependency? People who shop at Whole Foods? Salsa guys?

The question is, what are vampires not a metaphor for...? (actually, I don't think I need a question mark there).

I know that I'm very afraid of getting the life-blood sucked out of me by the guys who give me laundry quarters at the corner market. If I'm not getting sucked dry by The Man, it's large overweight roller-bladers who follow you down the bike path.

Then there's the whole "dating" scene. I say "dating," because I think "dating" has become a euphemism for sleeping around. "

"Do you think Los Angeles is the sluttiest city in the world?" I asked my friend the other night. "It is, after all, the porn capitol of the world."

"I think New York is worse," she answered.

On top of everything, in reaction to this True Blood world, I'm becoming some kind of puritan. If it's not for fear of diseases, or pregnancy, there's just a general creepiness/perv factor that nobody warned me about in sex education class.

Yes, I get why we need more shows, movies, books about vampires. Our imploding consumer culture can only be headed in that direction...though, I wouldn't mind not aging.

Just for today, I can get into True Blood.