According to this research study, men are highly confused by women (and this is news?).

Today, while my Eyebrow Lady did her best to control nature, my Persian Hairdresser of 13 years threatened to go salsa dancing with me some night.

"You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me."

Just FYI, he says stuff like this all the time. However, I have always written it off as part of his Persian Male Syndrome, a half-joking attempt to steer all conversations back to the only topic on his mind, sex .

"You seriously think I could fall in love with you?"

"I think there's potential..." he said in a tone that I realized, to my dismay, was totally serious. Uh...clueless?! I think so.

I, on the other hand, have serious loyalty issues when it comes to things related to my body, feet, hair, and other areas. I don't care who you've voted for in the last election (Republican Doctor), how many people you sleep with (Persian Hairdresser), or what you say about my skin (Facialist), the incumbent is always my favorite (yes, I KNOW this doesn't bode well for relationships). So, despite his constant sexual innuendo/I'm a Persian male babble, I have always remained loyal to person who told me I looked good with a Pat Benatar circa 94 hair style (he also told me I looked good in blond highlights which Eyebrow Lady said put ten years on me...).

So, despite my issues (who wants to deal with those) after reading this article, I can now see that he really thinks that I've been exhibiting great restraint for 13 years (It really takes a long time to get to know someone). I have found that the best way to hammer some reality into the egg scramble of men's brains is to be as direct and brutally honest as possible.

"I don't now, nor will I ever, desire to sleep with you."

"The idea of sex with you makes me think of maggots, puke, and dead beached seals altogether."

"Did you ever see A Beautiful Mind?"

As proven by Relented Salsero , with time and perseverance, some hopeful few maybe get the picture.

Just for today, I can accept that guys are clueless.