Sometimes, when I'm feeling depressed or a little lost, I like to go to the wedding websites of people I sort-of know who had or are planning elaborate six-figure wedding extravaganzas in some remote idyllic vineyard with lots of rolling hills and adorable Bed and Breakfast places. Ideally, these sites detail the five showers, and three bachelor parties leading up to the elaborate wedding ceremony, and followed by the home-based post-wedding party for all the po' folk who couldn't afford to shell out the cash to fly to the grand location...sometimes there are cool things like links to the plans for their eco-conscious tract home that mysteriously still supports the wetlands...

The fascination lies in measuring their seeming disconnection from reality as defined by own admittedly judgement-ridden mind. Ok, so call me a cynical wench if you must (hey, I'll call myself that), but from my urban, 12-stepped, therapy shrunken, urban, Sex and the City (LOVE THAT SHOW!) brainwashed, psyche, there's something fascinating about the blind embrace of the American Dream as interpreted through the next generation of Orange County (insert your favorite suburban mecca...I personally, am fascinated by the other side of the orange curtain...as well as the curtain itself, actually, I would like to get a pair for my French doors). Maybe it's being raised with the hippy vibes of a single mother or just my own admittedly perverse insistence on being different...all I know is that I wasn't the only who went to see American Beauty...so the question remains, just how medicated is young America? And where can I get my hands on some of that?...hopefully, they have a generic version (I have lame health insurance).

Just for today, I can be honest about my cynicism.