I got called in for jury duty today. I thought I was off the hook for the week (silly me who doesn't read instructions).

A co-worker (I can't think of a name for him...) e-mailed myself and the entire company the following suggestion:

"Go in dressed like a crazy, bedraggled woman with Tourette’s—bound to be a big jury duty turnoff. Just don’t bring that persona to work…"

Upon which Evil Flash Programmer replied:

"It's too late..."

Oh, the abuse I endure in order to pay the rent and buy slutty salsa dresses...!

When I first arrived at jury duty I thought, "This isn't so bad. Alls I gotta do is sit in a room and read magazines while watching Judge Joe Brown bring out the ghetto in people who don't believe in an authentic judicial process, AND try not to resent the fact that I missed Jury Appreciation Week (why did they have to tell us about all the free donuts and coffee we missed?)." I went shopping at lunch (hour and a half lunch break...and we wonder why the government is in debt?) and fantasized about spending the rest of the afternoon listening to my iPod and checking in with work people.

Then suddenly, around 3 pm, my name was called and the next thing I know, I'm sitting in a court room and hearing words like "rape" and "burglary." What?! Nobody said anything about jury duty immersing me into the evening news (which I don't watch because I don't want to get depressed)!

The court was unable to select a jury today...so, now, not only do I have to work on my Bedraggled Tourette Syndrome Act, and find something to wear that screams out "I hate accused rapists!" (Mojo Rising suggested bikini and trench coat, but I'm not sure what he was getting at...), but I have to try not to let the reality of the Crime that causes court trials in the first place (why can't they be about flowers and hearts?) to put me in a evening news panic.

Oh, by the way I'm not supposed to discuss this with anybody...see what a bad juror I am!

Just for today, I can serve jury duty for the state of California.