I'm in NYC visiting my younger sister who goes to NYU. I have to say, there's nothing like walking to a dorm room late at night with a substantial buzz going on to remind me of my own bright college years. [For some reason, the East Coast seems to be one of the few places where I actually get intoxicated. Perhaps that's because it's so damn cold and it's what you do to get up the hutzpah to walk outside...].

At dinner my stepfather looked at me and said, "You look so dissappointed."

"I am," I answered, "with my life." I know it's not a good attitude, but at least it's the truth.

I have to say it's hard hanging around young, promising college kids when you're old and bitter. Everything I say in response to their wide-eyed excited conversation is tinged with the some kind of condescending "Sounds great, kiddo!" energy. Just because my life is nothing like I expected, though, doesn't mean I have to lay it on America's youth like some old piece of leftover turkey. I can't blame an NYU student for feeling positive about life. I was tremendously positive in college, what with all the boyfriends, dreams, watered-down beer, and freezing cold wind-chills...what was there not to love about life? I didn't know the whole world was going to go off and pair up in five to ten years...

I really shouldn't write when I'm this tired...

Just for today, I can survive the cold (inside and out).