My friend and I went to the beach this morning and baked ourselves into a skin cancer frenzy and talked about everything under the sun (no pun intended). On the list of topics was boys (Really? How odd? Hetereosexual women talking about relations with the opposite sex...?).

The reason why Sex in the City is so popular (LOVE THAT SHOW!) is because after the age of 30 women have a biologically encoded need to talk to each other. Kind of like the way, say, horses need to run or cats need to lick themselves, it's not endemic to our survival, but it's built into our DNA because it makes life easier (and more fun). For instance, my genetic code is programmed with a biological trigger (not sure what else to call it...ok, so I wasn't a science major) that will cause me to go out and seek friends who will say things to me like, "If there ain't no ring, there ain't no thing!" Without such structures in place I might permanently remain in my 7th grade mode of making out with cute 7th graders in the garden at the latest dance party. Except now (just to set the record straight) they wouldn't be in the 7th grade and there'd be no dance party (note to self: have a dance party)...they'd be in the parking lot of a church after some form of support group meeting telling me about their emotionally distant father...

The point is grown women need each other to protect themselves from themselves.

Just for today, I can talk to friends on the beach.

Not unlike a computer (an old computer, PC...not a MAC), when I have too many programs running my system shuts down and I cease to be able to perform normal functionality. It's not that I'm staring into space and being unprodcutive, I've just crashed.

Just for today, I accept my system when it shuts down.

Word on the street is that I need assertiveness training (and by "street" I mean the place where I work). It's gotten to the point where lovely little articles appear on my desk about how to ask to get your needs met in the work place. It's just that if I take even a few seconds to ask for something that I need to do my job I'm afraid that said person will turn to me in a rage and scream, "Why you gittin' all up in my grill?!!" Just like that.

Just for today, I can overcome my fears about being assertive.

...in my digestive system. It's time for boundaries against the red bane of my afternoons. I must have boundaries. I must say no.

Just for today, I can let go.

I must have taken a vow of celibacy in my sleep or something because the last ten months have been a veritable Sahara desert-land of a dry spell. If the new moon pagan ritual I participated in on Friday evening doesn't start to kick in soon, I may have to take drastic measures to release the blockages against my sex life. This afternoon I went on a hike with two Godessy friends of mine who couldn't stop yammering on about their sex lives (the trees, bushes, and lizard's ears were alive with the sounds of women in their 30's comparing notes on their various experiences...so much to learn). Just rubbing it in...damn.

Just for today, I surrender the monastic life.

This morning my co-worker asked me what I was doing tonight and I answered:

"Either going to yoga or a pagan ritual to celebrate the new moon...not sure. How about you?"

This didn't go over as smoothly as I would have liked it to. He stared at me for a moment before saying, "Wow, you're really a hippy chick." I wanted to say, "Dude, I ain't no hippy chick...just in touch with the spirit world," but I got scared. I normally try to keep that side to myself in order to preserve my quasi-mainstream image to corporate America, but this morning I was plagued by some perverse desire to be myself.

Just for today, I have the courage to be myself.

First thing...

MADONNA TICKETS!!!

I don't care what anyone says (cuz she doesn't either), Madonna rocks in every sense of the word. She did more for my vision of female self-empowerment when I was a teenager than anyone else I can think of. It's not the music, dancing or her kick-as body (which is impressive) so much as her bold confidence and resilience to any criticism of her entrepreneurial prowess. If for any reason, I'm going to her concert to connect with her brand of high-powered feminine mojo.

The other thing I did this weekend that put some excitement (albeit life-threatening) was to get on a motorcycle with someone. Has anyone ever said that people who ride motorcycles are fundamentally crazy? Well, if not, then I'm saying that people who ride motorcycles are #@$ crazy. Rebellious, and fun, yes! But totally insane. I'd like to first say that I did not know this person didn't have a driver's license or car insurance. Secondly, this particular experience (while fun and rebellious) gave me all the more reason to trust my instincts. Without going into excruciating details, I'll just offer the suggestion that if you ever see a motorcycle weaving through traffic and you like having a side view mirror...PULL OVER!!

Just for today, I can experience different kinds of excitement.

...which surprised me. Because that's not what "mature" people do when they get annoyed (so I hear). However, instead of acting on this thought, I felt my feelings and reflected on how right I am. I've actually never bitch slapped anyone in my life and really wouldn't know the first thing about it. I just thought it was interesting thought...have my hormone levels have gone up?

Just for today, I can self-reflect.