Which, I must say, is not the same thing as getting "my freak ON." That would be fun. A freak OUT is not fun. It's a "the sky is falling", "where is the script of my life?", "this is not my beautiful house" sort of thing. I'm usually scheduled for at least one freak-OUT every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at around 3:00 pm. I was speaking to my friend Jane's boyfriend at a party on Saturday night, and he mentioned that she has a freak-out every few days at 3:00 pm ALSO (what a coinkidink). I suggested that we schedule a talk at this time, as those of us adjusting to the life of self-employment need to stick together.

It's not that I want to freak out, but on a certain level (and I tried to explain this to Jane's boyfriend), these feelings are part of my "process," and if I don't indulget them once in a while I'll live in a prison of my own creation for the rest of my life.

Luckily, I'll be in my shrink's office at 3:00 pm tomorrow.

Just for today, I can accept my "process."