My friend gave me a book called "Why Men Love Bitches." I haven't read it yet, but I already can't wait to read the sequel, "Why Men Love Bi-otches." If it doesn't exist, I'm going to have to write it myself. I mean being a bitch is cool and all, but if I'm really honest with myself, I know the glory comes from being a full-on in-your-face "bi-otch." Ever since I saw that word scrawled on the bathroom wall in the fourth grade (...and then a hundred times thereafter as I hustled through a very creative public school system), I have been on search for my inner-bi-otch. It's not just men, either, everyone loves a bi-otch. She's just not going to stand around and let you get away with anything. She keeps you centered. She's a force to be reckoned with. She's like Jesus or Ghandi, but dresses a bit sharper .

Just for today, I am in touch with my inner-bi-otch.