Today I went to my D.A. (Debtor's Anonymous) meeting and shared about how I feel about not having a regular paycheck. I told them that it feels like I'm going to die. People tell me that I won't. That eventually some freelance work will swing my way, and even if it doesn't I won't die, I just won't be able to pay my bills. They say things like, "feelings aren't facts," and other canonized slogans that condescend to the human condition as if it were some dated fashion statement, like leg warmers.

After my meeting I had lunch with my friend Bruce and we commiserated on our common experience of working jobs far beneath our skill or (more importantly) interest level. Like me, he belives that he has to be bored to tears to make a living. However, since I've made the decision to refuse a Dilbert life-style the the fear, the terror...the horror of financial uncertainty plagues me like a bad sugary coffee drink hangover.

Between Bruce, my boyfriend, a trip to Santa Barbara, and the end of Los Angeles' rainstorm, life feels good again and I'm grateful for all that I have.

Just for today, life is good.