I'm avoiding my therapist with excuses about shortages of cash when I'm really just so tired of the whole game. I sit there and talk about my feelings and emoticons towards Person X, and then she looks at me intently and says, "I really want to hear about Person X, but what I'd really like to know is...what are your feelings towards me."

And then I think, "Uh...,were we even talking about you? Are you that self-absorbed? Maybe I'm living in a parallel universe, but did you give birth to me and raise me till I was 18?" And then she gives me some speech about how if I work out my stuff it'll somehow carry over to the global dysfunction. And then I say, "Why you gittin' all up in my grill? You're just trying to make me see my own transference and what you really think is that I should break up with my boyfriend and move to Seattle!"

And then she looks at me like Tony Soprano on trial and says, "I never said that..."

Yeah, but that's what you meant, Bi-otch!

Just for today, I'm tired of therapy.