This morning I came to work with eyeliner only on my left eye, a stocking only on my right foot (so as to create symmetry of my craziness), and my hair in a half-blowed dry, half-wet unbrushed state (I'm banking on it settling down in waves but I'm scared to look in a mirror). The last two days I have stood idly by as my Trader Joe's burrito exploded in the office microwave. One time there were even people standing nearby who looked at me like I had just broken wind (such are the connotations of exploding burritos)...

It's my feeling that I am passed the age where dark circles under my eyes, no make-up and exploding burritos can pass as cute or carefree. As I am approaching 33, I feel that I am entering a dignified age without the appropriate dignity. What happend to my f---ing dignity!