I'm sure my account is on Red Alert at Verizon Wireless. My relationship has been rocky with them as of late, due to some inconsistencies between what they say and what is printed on their little computer screens when I call back later. I know Brian and Gloria are just people working their jobs and are not corporate giants ready to manipulate and destroy me, but sometimes they do feel like Nazi pawns. I've basically haggled them to the point where I've created my own special cell phone plan for those customers willing to spend hours of their lives talking to supervisors and then apologizing for raising their voices. By the time I'm off the phone, I've had full relatioships with these people. They know more about me than most of my closest friends. And why do I spend all this time talking to faceless voices controlling my cell phone fate? Because the sun doesn't go down at 9:00 PM?!!! Nights, as far as I know, begin when it's been dark for at least two hours! If nobody else but me thinks that's crazy then go ahead and wait till 9:00 PM to make dinner plans!

Just for today, I have a cell phone plan that works.