The truth is that I am a hopelessly cynical person trapped in the body of a Pollyanna. I've been told that my voice sounds promising to people (like Polly), but I think it just sounds the opposite of an old bitter Italian men. My boyfriend in college was part Italian and so he would imitate old men a lot. Actually, come to think of it, I think he was an old man. Some people are born old. I am told that I seem young. But I think it's because I seem unsure of myself the way young people do, so I wouldn't take it as a compliment on my skin. But the point is that it doesn't matter what I seem like, I am dark. I say all these inspiring things at meetings, and I construct profound statements because I actually feel hopeless about the human race.

I wake up every morning in dread. I feel hopeless about getting up. The magnified sounds of garbage trucks reverberating in my alley are God's way of setting my alarm clock. I work next to a construction site where the piercing beepings of trucks backing up ring in my ear every morning. My work e-mail is like a study in clutter. Forget about my yahoo account. I've surrendered to the spam. It's like we lost the war to the robots and there's nothing more to do but spend our lives deleting e-mails about diabetes, etc.

Just for today, the truth is out...