It all started on the day I was born and met my parents. They were the first cult leaders.

On that day, without speaking a word, (but through the vibrations emanating from their bodies) they said to me, "you are now our child and, therefore, a member of our cult. You must do as we say and believe as we believe or we will withold the love you so desperately need (not to mention food, shelter, etc.)."

However, the foil was that my parnets got divorced, and the sect divided (sort of like what happend in England with the Protestants and Catholics). Since I couldn't decide which cult I belonged to, I struggled to belong to both, whatever it took in order to bask in their love of my compliance.

There are many cults that exist in this world. The Hare Krishnas are just one. And here are a few that I've noted:

1) The Gap
2) "Friends" (the television show)
3) Vintage People
4) Trust Fund Cool Cynical People (too poor to join)
5) Insecure People
6) Target
7) The cult of college girls who drank too much in and puked (one semester only)
8) "Recovering" people (member since 1997...considering separation).
9) People Who Pay Taxes

Just for today, I can live my life free from cults.