Judging from the population migrating through the shower accessories aisles of Bed, Bath, and Beyond (before Laker tip-off), I wasn't the only one not invited to a barbecue this weekend. After deleting a flurry of abusive span e-mails making fun of the size of the penis that I don't have (which I guess makes it really, really small), and reading a Time article about what scientists say about love and sex (apparently, this may come as a shock, but human beings like sex! Amazing what scientists can do with research grants), I went to the movies and saw "Saved." It was almost REALLY AWESOME, until the last thirty minutes when the writers turned the script into a case study for Robert McKee's story structure theory. I started to criticize the movie to my friend for failing to delve deeper into the relationships in the movie, in favor of a tie-me-up-in-a-bow ending, when I realized that I can't criticize someone for failing to write about deep relationships when I can barely have them in my own life. All my screenplays come to a sudden halt after the romantic male lead gets annoyed at the romantic female lead for having an opinion...and then they sit on my desk-top and quietly mock me.

It was an eventful Memorial Day.

Just for today, I can appreciate national holidays.