My social life fell to record-breaking lows the other night when I found myself eating an In-n-Out Burger in my car in the parking lot in front of my ATM machine. It all came about in a perfectly logical way. I was hungry, had just worked out, In-n-Out was close, I was low on cash, and, because I was low on cash, needed to go to the ATM. But the actual manifestation of it all was so far from everything I aspire to in my personal life that it felt like the gods wept in pity (though I don't need anyone's pity…at least not yet). It's one thing to eat alone in my apartment where no one can see me watching "The Bachelor" (boy, that show is so-scripted) and checking my e-mail for the 30th time that day. But 1) eating in my car; 2) food that cost under $5.00 (I don't care how Christian and pious the owners of In-n-Out are); and 3) while looking over my shoulder for both the threat and company of some would-be ATM lurker, made my aloneness a little too freakishly public. Newsflash for me: we are social animals. Definitely time to sound the alarms.

A woman told me yesterday that the happy-n'-single state to seriously-ready-to-squeeze-out-the-puppies state can "turn on a dime." That dime did an instant flip when I realized that if I inserted a couple of kids, my parking lot/In-n-Out experience would feel more fun-loving (hell, another warm body would feel more fun-loving.) Please note: when I was in my twenties, I thought women who wrote and talked about this wanted a family needed to Get A Life...(times change after I differentiated...more on that later).

Just for today, I am over the single life.