It started out simply enough, he was like "Yar, I'll be pulling into the dock by your apartment, so how about we go git some grub." So I was like, "Ok, that's cool...just try to scale down the outfit and leave the eye patch and sword at home." So we go to a local Sushi place and he immediately pipes in with, "I think our children should be home schooled." What?! Dude, I agreed to go out with you because you're a pirate. That means you're out on the open seas the majority of the time, not available for a committed relationship. And then he's like, "Well, I've worked through a lot of stuff in therapy and am ready to create space for a loving, intimate connection with another human being...yar." He even said that he's willing to sell his ship and go apply for a job at Disneyland or Vegas, or as an extra in a movie. (But I know that he'll never take in as much as he would as a pirate...material girl that I am). So, I finally had to tell him that I was in over my head, and was not ready for that kind of relationship. He seemed to take it OK, but as we were getting ready to leave he pulled a small knife on the waiter for taking so long with the bill. I guess I had a lot of preconceived notions about pirates, but I now see that even they have needs.

Just for today, I can accept pirates as multi-dimensional human beings.