9:00 am - Keyboards don't work very well when you spill coffee on them.

11:13 am- I wish I didn't know that human beings are dandruff machines and the latches in toilet stalls most likely never get cleaned.

12:48 pm - I think I need a hug from my mom. I'll even take one from someone who looks like her.

2:19 pm - Having a bad childhood and going to therapy does not make one deep. Neither does having a good childhood, not going to therapy, smoking pot, getting sober, meditating, or doing Yoga. I am happy to be the judge of all depth.

3:30 pm - There's absolutely no way I'll ever find out if my college boyfriends have googled me (unless, of course, I run into them and they tell me).

5:00 pm - The world will never know the extent of my ignorance of history, politics, and the history of politics because I'm so good at nodding.

5:30 pm - My future husband will have to be comfortable with my random, apparently sourceless burstings into tears.