I could say "I am willing to give and receive love" twenty million times before I go to bed at night (along with the arm motion), or do my third inventory on my sex and love life (which is really fun to read to someone), or sign up for five Internet dating sites and meet guys tell me how "different" I look from my picture (yeah, and what's up with the shoe-horn nose piercing?! I didn't see that in YOUR picture), or give the creepy guy at the Christmas party a chance (before I realized that my undergarment wasn't doing its proper job...whoops, no wonder so many guys around) or flirt with the cable guy...but the truth is, I'm really sick and tired of doing anything about being single.

Forty-something guys I've kissed (I had insomnia one night and, yes, that's including all the 7th grade Truth or Dare/Spin the Bottle games), ten emotional entanglements (won't even get into the sex), two relationships that qualify for the "serious" category, and one burned out single lady. Ok, there are a lot of things I haven't done and a lot of places I haven't been. But at least I know that I don't need to try everything (because I have instincts for a reason). The point is, I'm done with the drama. I don't know if bitterness is the right word, because I'm not really angry with anyone. It's more a state of exhausted surrender, a sort of "I'm done," I've taken that exam, completed that obstacle course, climbed that mountain, fallen off that cliff, did that whole self-pity thing, did that whole "I'm fabulous" thing...who cares anymore!

Just for today, I surrender my love life.