It's OK to sleep through the boring parts of church and then wake up for the good songs and communion. Am I really worse off if I miss out on the (occasionally violent) scripture readings, the hymns about the Vatican's latest proclamation, and the sober priests' sermon that he belts out (even though he has a mike) like we're sitting a mile away? (Why does it feel like spiritual people are yelling their point - in books, tapes, etc.)? I'm sure the women sitting next to me weren't crazy about my snoring, but when I woke up I felt great! Just because the Catholic church is my spiritual home doesn't mean that it doesn't bear some resemblance to the dysfunction in my actual childhood home. Perhaps the Vatican is just one big Alcoholic father. Still, I love the gory drama of Catholicism, and I'm sure my children will get over the initial horror of it as well, and may fail to find a less dramatic spiritual community.

Just for today, I can sleep through the creepy parts of church.