Not to take away from the magnitude of any particular addict's story, but do I really have to wake up face down on the floor of a half-way house, in a pool of (OK, this is a GIANT cliche) vomit to experience spiritual enlightenment? It just seems like a long way to go. What about all the lost souls, like myself, who never met with any newsworthy drama in their disconnected Godless state. Never puked at SkyBar or got high with Keanu, but just got kind of depressed, let people walk all over them, and dated unavailable guys. It's no big Hollywood "28 Days," dramatic story, just your standard uninspired life. Do we get some milder spiritual awakening? Are we disqualified from writing a memoir or starting a new age self-help cult?

I guess it's far more interesting to read about the spiritual awakening of a supermodel who kicked her heroine habit and began a second career as a Yoga guru. Or maybe that's the People Magazine version.

Just for today, it's OK to have a mediocre story of enlightenment (if I even have it yet).