Who is John Gray (the guy who wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) to say that I, as a woman, get my self-esteem and identity from my relationships? Who says that I don't get self-esteem from accomplishments out in the world? Who says that I don't go into my own cave in relationships? Why does this simple, control-freak of a man sell so many books? I weep for those who have tried to fit into his vision of women. It must be a Stepford Man's wet dream to write a book that women read and try to follow to find love. I now proclaim October 22nd "Dating Book Burning Day" for all those heathens who dare strive for honesty and integrity in their relationships.