My co-worker Anne likes to practice a lesser-known form of birth control on me (unbeknowst to her) by explaining to me in gruesome detail the subtle nuances of being pregnant and giving birth. Not that there's anything subtle about giving birth, especially when described by Anne who likens it to something that those of us (without IBS) should do every day. When she was really pregnant (a few months ago) and looked like she was about to explode, I asked her if she was having twins. She repayed me for this faux pas, by coming to my office and describing the details of her pregnancy; the positions of her every vein, the pain of birth, and the long healing process - knowing full well that I have ambivalent feelings about having kids!

Whenever I think of getting pregnant I think about but Geena Davis giving birth to a half-human, half-fly creature in "The Fly." When I told my friend Courtney (who is about to give birth to her second child) that I had some fear about having kids, she looked at me seriously and said, "Be afraid, be very afraid." I know my friends love their kids, but with this kind of feedback, how is my ambivalence ever going to settle into a quiet knowing?! Sigh. Just for today, my ovaries remain unfertile (rather, make that my eggs).