They say that we are not loved for our perfections, but for our imperfections. They (various self-help gurus) say that we can't possibly love people who are perfect, rather we stand in awe of them and really fear them.

The trouble with this line of thinking for me is, I don't want to be loved, I want to be feared. I want people to see me and think, "Look how together she is, she is a powerful weapon of intelligence, beauty, and power." Sure, I can love other people for their imperfections. But do I want to be loved for my imperfections? Do I want a man to say, "Stella, you're so odd and different looking. I love you for that?" No! How condescending is that?!

However, I certainly don't want to be alone for the rest of my life and I don't see myself going in the direction of perfection (unless gray hair suddenly makes it's way into the beauty standard.) Thus, I don't think I have a choice. I'm going to have to be loved for my imperfections. Just for today, I can accept love (minus the condescensions) for my imperfections.